Culture of Life is Easy

The culture of life is simple and easy to understand. Life begins when the sperm meets the egg. Once fertilization has occurred, that child should be protected at all cost. The culture of life doesn't need to consider how women of color don't have access to quality prenatal care, how they are rarely believed or taken seriously by healthcare professionals or how they die in childbirth at 5 times the rate of white women. The culture of life doesn't have to bother itself with considering that 30% of pregnancies end in miscarriages or still births. Neither do we need to consider fetal complications, birth defects, incompatibilities with life or the well-being of the pregnant person. The culture of life will ban all abortions no matter what. It will criminalize doctors and people who have abortions and neglect the vast history that proves when abortion is illegal, it just becomes unsafe and causes death by sepsis. None should bother to learn history. Instead, focus on the millions of murders of unborn children each year at the hands of the abortion industry. The culture of life doesn't need to consider how toxic masculinity needs women and children's bodies to feed it's unending blood lust. Intimate partner violence may remain safely behind closed doors for women and men to settle with their own guns. The culture of life can conveniently neglect to consider how gun violence against women, children, black and brown bodies has become an acceptable byproduct of the gun industry's need for profit. The culture of life can conveniently co-opt the language of pro-choice only when it comes to wearing masks as a public safety solution for pandemic. The culture of life will always wear a grin of self-satisfaction and a mantle of piousness while stabbing every attempt at true liberation. The culture of life is a farce. Scratch below its surface and there is death, violence, toxicity and fear of pleasure, fear of freedom, fear of joy, fear of life. The culture of life cozies up to 350,000 deaths in the U.S. because mask wearing is ungodly and it is good to sacrifice the elderly and those in prison to the death god in return for giving capitalism a fighting chance. Plus you wouldn't want to upset all these gun-owning right wing nut jobs that refuse to wear a mask. They vote after all and we need their votes.

Poem from 11/6/06: The Sound of Joy

12/30/20 6:25pm

Found this poem in a Star Wars journal dated 11.06.06.

The sound of joy is a hearty laugh

or

a child's shriek of delight

or 

a lover's contented sigh.

The sound of joy may take the form of a champaign cork popping and the following exhuberant applause erupting from a celebratory audience

or

the whooshing of a cape as the momentum of it's wearer's steps catches air against the ground.

Right now as the Autumn begins it's pageant towards Winter, there is joy to me in the shirring of wet leaves as passing cars drive over them.

In these things, the sound of joy is unmistakeable.

But joy's sound is not heard from just these things alone...

In fact, most often, the sound of joy is quite simply the crispness of every day sounds like birds in mid-day, foot steps against concrete, the coffee pot choking out it's last bit of steam, mundane things like these.

For when the jaw is set and the ears are particularly open to witnessing moments of every day, THIS is when the endless current of joy, which escapes so many, indeed may be heard!

The everyday quite ordinary sounds experienced through the ears of one whose jaw is set, whose determination towards a worthy goal has been previously established, THIS is when the sound of joy manifests in every blessed mundane detail of the star-kissed universe.

💖

Conversation Etiquette

Seven conversation etiquette tips I've found useful

1. Take care of yourself.  Follow the simple guidance your body gives you and take care of personal needs first and foremost.  No one needs you to uncomfortably hold your bladder for 2 hours as they finish telling you a story.  If you struggle with how to remove yourself politely from a situation so that you can take care of your needs, try "Hold that thought, I'll be back in a few."

2. "Don't complain and don't explain." I heard this from Mr. Lundine in the early 2000's and it is solid advice.  No one wants to hear your excuses.  Humans tend to make it into a contest once someone expresses that they are tired.  Don't be the one who throws down the guantlet for conversation to focus on the negative.  The human journey is rife with daily struggle for each and every one of us. Be a part of the solution by focusing your thoughts and conversations on the positive.

3. Be an active listener.  Look people in the eyes when they are talking to you.  Actions speak louder than words.  Make people feel they are being listened to.  This is a real gift in our culture where many of us listen absently while thinking about what we will say next. (Photo from The Artist is Present by Marina Abramovic.)

 
4. When someone lets you know they are running behind, reply "Thanks for letting me know.  Take your time and be careful."  This again was from Mr. Lundine in the early 2000's and I benefited from his compassionate reply.  Safety is the first priority when someone is running behind.  Be compassionate.  Your shaming of them will not change the situation and worst case scenario could add to their rushing through traffic and causing an accident.

 
5. Figure out how to say "thank you" rather than "I'm sorry."  I saw this cartoon on Dec 23, 2015 and am trying to take it to heart: https://www.facebook.com/thatscoop/posts/1041847832503398.  (Illustrations by New York based artist Yao Xiao.)  I hear way too many people apologizing in my job when I ask them to volunteer or show up for an event.  It makes me feel like I have to work to allay their shame and that is a gross feeling.  It leads me to my next line of advice.

6. "Thanks so much for the invite!  I can't make it but I'll be there in spirit!" rather than "Sorry I can't go...(lengthy excuse often accompanied by oversharing)".  Keep your spirits up.  Modern life is often overfilled with scheduling commitments, health issues and unforeseen emergencies. You aren't the only one with this problem.  While your presence is important, I typically have hundreds or even thousands of other calls to make and your positivity and brevity is appreciated more than you can know.

 
7. Thank people with sincerity early and often for: hosting a gathering, doing you a favor, giving you a gift. This benefits them by making them feel appreciated and it benefits you because by focusing on what you are grateful for, you become more optimistic and in turn, attract more blessings into your life. 

Some Advice for Dealing with Difficult Coworkers

Over the past 6 months, I have had tension with a colleague who is often complaining and stirring the pot.  I ceased communication with her when I found her not to be open to solutions.  I know I have not done things perfectly so I am trying to learn for going forward.  These are some resources I've found in my quest to learn from it.

How To Deal With Difficult Coworkers (20150409 Wright Living podcast, Sasha Sekinger, student and staff member at Wright Leadership Institute and Barbara Burgess, COO & Chief Vision Realization Officer at Wright Leadership Institute)

• Become a responsible critic - critique with vision. ("Deliver feedback with impact" workshop mentioned)
• There is always something for me to learn when there is conflict.
• End your victimization by positive self talk and accountability from spouse/partner.
• If I feel an "emotional charge", address it immediately.
• Deliver feedback as straight as possible and with as much genuine contact as possible.  Don't avoid or let it build.  Listen, be understanding.  Early and often. Develop relationships.
• Be straight. Don't worry if people think you are a bitch.
• As a manager, document issues.  Look for movement towards resolution.  Surface compliance is not movement.  
• Coach employees that if there isn't movement, maybe position is not a good fit.  "Here is what I am observing. What are your thoughts?" Open dialogue. Be consistent with expectations.
• Difficult conversations are like a muscle, the more often you do it the easier it gets.  Practice.  Don't avoid.  When you see something, speak up.

Productive Relationships: 57 Strategies for Building Stronger Business Connections (20110224 Jan Yager book)

8 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People (20130625 Forbes article)

Week in Review 12-8-12

Highlight

1.) Being back home in Little Rock with balmy weather after a very chilly week in Des Moines last week

2.) Gratitude for living with Greg

3.) Spending Monday night catching up and shopping for cat food with Michelle Frost

4.) Spending Thursday night at Bernice Garden and Hillcrest Shop and Sip with Kathleen

Lowlight

Feeling like I just could not focus one what I needed to do at work.  Cannot figure out how so much time passed and I got so little accomplished.

Belly Laugh

Last night I invited Michelle Frost and Dad to Community Bakery for light dinner. Afterwards Dad told me he hoped I didn't mind that Michelle joined us.  I had to remind him that I was the one who invited her!

Food for Thought

Mayan Explanation of What Will Happen on 21st December 2012

Song

Haunting and so optimistic "There's a way...I know that one day we will surely find it"

Week In Review 11-18-12

Week In Review 11-18-12

Highlight:  3 this week

1.) 11-11-12 to 11-12-12 Journeyed to Plano since Sarah was in town briefly for a friend's wedding.  Enjoyed spending time with Mike, Michelle, Max, Sarah, Mom.  Max is enamored of dump trucks and job sites - so precious.  Loved reading "Dinosaurs" to him Sunday night.  Presented to two of Mom's middle school classes about love of Reading with Sarah.  Sarah represented that you can not be crazy about reading in school and still develop a love of reading later on.  I represented that strong female protagonists in Madeleine L'Engle's books inspired me to the work I do in organizing around women's health.

2.) Spent some quality time with Greg going to see "Sky Fall" on Wednesday and then at the Southern Barter Association annual holiday event on Thursday, after which we went out for prime rib at The Faded Rose.  Yummy!

3.) 11-17-12 saw the play "Pass It On" about the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous at Argenta Community Theater with Nad.  Funny, informative characterization of Bill W. and Dr. Bob Smith's journey to the creation of AA.  The best company I could have asked for to see it with.  Introduced Doris and Nad, finally.

Lowpoint:  Realizing exactly how tight my budget is.

Belly Laugh:  "What matters most in life is not how much money you have.  It's about quotes and stuff that tell you what life is really all about and here is a picture of a cat."

Food for Thought:  Published on Nov 16, 2012

Thom Hartmann discusses an article that says the hacker group, Anonymous may have been involved in stopping GOP mastermind Karl Rove from stealing the election in Ohio this year.

Academia Beef

I love to learn.  I love reading and then coming to class to verbally rehash the concepts with others.  Academia holds the potential for such stimulation and personal growth!  However, lectures are all too rarely well-presented and all too often chock full of the individual professor's precious mental property that is all too often out-dated and stale.

I am taking a Social Psychology class this semester in order to finally finish up my Sociology degree.  The concepts are miraculous and revelations and my mind is like a child on Christmas morn unwrapping these beautiful nuggets.  Now especially, after I've experienced more of life and people, I can relate these concepts to human behavior and I am enthralled!  

But I just spent the last 2 hours in a class room where we were given lots of notes that relate more or less to the text we read.  Our professor is fairly intelligent but her brand of humor is that tired old cliched brand of scoffing and sarcasm as though she is well aware of her above average mind but too entrenched in that knowledge to find anything new and fresh.  This makes her come across as a know-it-all and I have learned just enough to know that she doesn't.

How frustrating to put up with a stodgy professor once again and know that it does not have to be this way!  When is it okay to release the need to show off your mental prowess to students?  They are students!  

I hear Dr. Nobles make remarks that I am sure could be challenged and some students laugh or agree whole-heartedly with her like she's making total sense.  She has her points but her lack of humility distracts me from learning.  And I can't help but muse on how unfair it is to the students who don't know any better.  But all I want to do is get out of class early so I don't say what I'm thinking.  I let it go.  Let her have her day.  Let them all have their day.

And when the test has zero questions from her long, boring, incorrect lectures, I'll be glad I read on RateMyProfessors.com to only study the textbook.