Some Advice for Dealing with Difficult Coworkers

Over the past 6 months, I have had tension with a colleague who is often complaining and stirring the pot.  I ceased communication with her when I found her not to be open to solutions.  I know I have not done things perfectly so I am trying to learn for going forward.  These are some resources I've found in my quest to learn from it.

How To Deal With Difficult Coworkers (20150409 Wright Living podcast, Sasha Sekinger, student and staff member at Wright Leadership Institute and Barbara Burgess, COO & Chief Vision Realization Officer at Wright Leadership Institute)

• Become a responsible critic - critique with vision. ("Deliver feedback with impact" workshop mentioned)
• There is always something for me to learn when there is conflict.
• End your victimization by positive self talk and accountability from spouse/partner.
• If I feel an "emotional charge", address it immediately.
• Deliver feedback as straight as possible and with as much genuine contact as possible.  Don't avoid or let it build.  Listen, be understanding.  Early and often. Develop relationships.
• Be straight. Don't worry if people think you are a bitch.
• As a manager, document issues.  Look for movement towards resolution.  Surface compliance is not movement.  
• Coach employees that if there isn't movement, maybe position is not a good fit.  "Here is what I am observing. What are your thoughts?" Open dialogue. Be consistent with expectations.
• Difficult conversations are like a muscle, the more often you do it the easier it gets.  Practice.  Don't avoid.  When you see something, speak up.

Productive Relationships: 57 Strategies for Building Stronger Business Connections (20110224 Jan Yager book)

8 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People (20130625 Forbes article)